Welcome.

When you’re 15 and envision what your adult life, I don’t think anyone plans on being 30, single, overweight and living with two cats in the ‘burbs. I sure as shit didn’t. But that’s what happened. And it’s not like I’m unhappy with the way things turned out, they are just different. And I might be unhappy if it weren’t for the lovely medication brought to by the letters G, K and S. Thank you GlaxoKlineSmith.

So I thought I’d start a blog because I’m self absorbed enough to think I’m hilarious. And if no one else laughs, well then that just goes to show you that everyone else’s sense of humor sucks. I went to sign up for a blog and I had a great idea for a name: Houston, I am the problem. Turns out some bitch - that doesn’t even live IN Houston - already took that name. Boo. So, maybe I have a problem instead of knowing I do? And by problem, I mean problems, plural. Oh, maybe that one is available. Sweet. So, now I have a blog. With a name. And it needs some TLC but I’m lazy so we’ll see how that goes.

So, the name. And the blog. I have been reading all of Jen Lancaster’s books (which you should read if you haven’t. They are hilarious). She’s inspired me to actually write down the funny shit I think of while I’m home alone. I went into the kitchen a little bit ago and decided on chips and queso for dinner. With a mimosa. What? It’s not like I don’t have 100 lbs to lose or that I am reading a book about a fat girl trying to lose weight (Such A Pretty Fat). So I decided that I'd like to incorporate the name of the city I live in (and love) and the fact that I have issues. Plural.

So once again, I’m going to start tomorrow.

Hopefully I stick with the blogging and the dieting.