Anyway, I live alone and sometimes I talk to my cats, especially Pan, because he does annoying stuff. I hope my neighbors don't think I have a kid or they are going to call CPS. Things I've said to Pan in the last few days:
"I will punch you in the face if you don't sit down or go away."
"Why are you such an asshole?"
"Stop smelling her butt"
"Shut up or I'll open the front door and kick you out"
Pan can be rather obnoxious. He drinks out of the toilet, messing with the blinds in the window, meows all the time, headbutts me when I'm not paying him enough attention and rips open the bread bag if I leave it out. But he's loving and cuddly and I wouldn't really punch him in the face.
As I was typing this, he crawled into my lap and is now purring.
My other cat, Katana, thinks he's an asshole too. He'll walk by and she'll just slap him in the back of the head. This picture pretty much shows how she feels: